Back To School

A few years ago, I learned about a new program our Church was offering called Pathways. It was a way to attend school part online and part in the classroom. Due to a misunderstanding, I did not participate that year. About part way through the year, I realized I could have gone, and looked forward to attending the next fall. However, before that could happen, I got pregnant with Eric. I was debating signing up anyways, as he would be about 9 months old, but I didn't feel right about it, so I waited. In October, my husband got called as Bishop of our ward, which validated my decision to hold off.

I thought it would be a long time before I would get the chance to attend Pathways. Usually, Bishops serve for an average of 4-6 years. Then, unexpectedly, the ward boundaries were re-arranged, which moved us into a new branch, only two and a half years in. My chance for Pathways was much closer now.

As the start date got closer, I started to hesitate, wondering if now was really the right time. You need an entire year of being able to attend the classes on a Thursday night, plus the time to do all the classwork and studying necessary. As of right now, we have nine children still at home. (My oldest, actually got married right before I started, and moved to Idaho.) My youngest two, are still under three. Yet, I got the distinct feeling, that if this was something I wanted, now was the time to do it. This year.

Once your first year is over, you can space out the rest. The first year is to establish 'residency' at BYU-I, and then you can complete your degree as you have time. The first year however, is a specific course of study, held during set times of the year. In order to complete it, you need one fall, one spring, and one summer semester.

So, I started. It has been Amazing!!! I love it. The best thing is, is that it is already helping me in my life. I have already used many quotes and lessons learned in my religion class for my kids during Family Home Evening. I have used the knowledge from my Life Skills class in studying for classes I teach at Church, as well as helping me homeschool. Just this past week, we studied about Lifelong Learning. There were many stories and quotes I shared with them about the importance of always learning.

One other thing that was a point this week, was the request by Church Leaders, to join in the 'conversation'. To take the time to share our beliefs online, and use the internet for good. It reminded me of this blog, and re-inspired me to make a concerted effort, to post at least once a week, something good that has happened.

So many posts...

In my head, I have written about a thousand posts for this blog. Unfortunately, that is where they have stayed. Well thought out, well intentioned, but never actually typed out. Why? Some were victims of procrastination, laptop problems, or babies crying, but most were due to the simple fact, that I felt they weren't the 'right' post to jump back in with. I felt that since it had been awhile since my last post, I needed a great 'catch-up' post to start with, and then I could start posting all my random thoughts.
However, now an entire year has passed, and instead of looking back through a bunch of cute, quirky posts, I have nothing. Perfectionism, has struck again. How often do we have great ideas, but don't act on them, as they aren't 'perfected' yet? Or, we aren't worried about them being perfect, but they just don't line up with how we think they should be done?
I am currently working my way through a study course on Great Education, as well as one on some classic books. Due to some computer problems/family challenges, I missed the first month and a half of the classics, and was interrupted in the education one. Once able to jump back in however, I hesitated. Should I start at the beginning, or jump in current? After debating this, for the last six weeks, yet finding no time to actually catch up, I finally asked which would be better. I was instead asked a question back. "If you could catch up, wouldn't you have already?"
Yes, yes I would have. However, I didn't want to recognize my current limitations, accept them, and then move forward doing my best. No, I stayed where I was, stuck. Not being able to move forward, yet not able to go back and fix anything either. There is nothing wrong with wanting to excel at what we do, the problem comes when we get so concerned about doing it 'right', that we don't actually 'do' anything!! Sometimes, in the words of a mentor friend, we just need to "ready, fire, aim".  Sometimes, actually most times, things are figured out as we work through them. If we always waited for all the traffic lights to be green, from home to our destination, we would never get where we want to go. Yet, we constantly do this in our personal lives.
I am making a new commitment to myself, that though I will always be a planner, and a list writer, I will no longer let fear of it not being 'right' or 'perfect' hold me back from accomplishing things. And this this time next year, I will be able to look back and read a years' worth of (hopefully) cute and quirky stories and memories.
*quote was from Rachel DeMille and the classes I am taking can be found at www.tjed.org